Mental illness is not romantic
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I fell in love with a boy who was hurting in ways I could not even begin to understand, and I felt helpless. The boy started to blame himself for his pain in addition to my own hurting and, in turn, a downward spiral of answerless questions and self-deprecation brought us to a crossroads.
We knew something was wrong and we both wanted to fix it, but we did not know how. We blamed ourselves and each other before we understood the situation.
Soon after, the boy decided to see a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Now his hurt had a name that was not mine or his own and he realized steps could be taken to get better. He began sessions with a counselor, decided to try out an intimidatingly named prescription — and the boulders that seemed to block his path started to break down into cobble.
The hopelessness subsided, he found his motivation, and I continued to love him because mental illness is more than a trope. Many people struggle to not let mental illnesses consume them, but it is not their fault.
For those who are avid readers of the overzealous young adult (YA) novels found in the “popular reads” section of Barnes and Noble, this may come as an unhappy or even boring ending to my anecdote. That, unfortunately, is due to the generally disappointing and revolting portrayal of mental illness in today’s media.
When teenagers hear the phrase “bipolar disorder,” they imagine a poetically dangerous boy who smokes cigarettes, hates his dad and talks about wanting to kill himself. They hear “depression” and picture a beautiful, sad girl with cuts on her thighs and dark eye makeup.
Romanticizing those who fit these descriptions is constantly written into YA novels being read by tweens whose minds are still fit for molding. Because of this, they grow up thinking these jaded boys and girls need a hero to come along and save them from their disorder.
The truth is mental illness is by no means the plot of anyone’s story and should not be regarded this way in media. Those with an illness do not become the illness.
Unfortunately, the idea has even been romanticized so dramatically that teens and young adults who experience symptoms and feelings associated with certain mental illnesses are belittled or exploited in the media. It is not uncommon for it to even be regarded as a “phase.”
Movies like Heathers, American Pie and Thirteen glamorize an excessive level of sexual promiscuity, substance abuse, self-injury and eating disorders, presenting these actions as edgy or normal teen behavior. It comes as no surprise when young people who end up being medically diagnosed with a mental illness experience feelings of worry and fear for the judgment to come.
The romanticizing of mental illness is not only prevalent in YA novels and teen movies. The social media and blogging platform Tumblr harbors an unsettling amount of graphics, poetry and photographs which all seem to take mental disorders such as depression, anorexia, bulimia and anxiety and turn them into trends.
Through this, the younger demographic that uses the social media outlet sees the idealizations and grows up under the impression that cutting or throwing up after eating will make them more interesting as people.
Furthermore, those who have actually been diagnosed with a mental illness and see the media’s perspective start to believe they need someone to kiss their scars in order to heal; they need someone to depend on.
The media and content younger generations are exposed to regarding very real and plausible illnesses should be teaching them depression is not cute, bipolar disorder is not mysterious, eating disorders are not glamorous and suicide is not poetic.
What is beautiful and poetic, however, is learning how to heal scars through acknowledging and appreciating the fact that life can still be beautiful with them.
Read more on jackcentral.org